Chapter 4
Wonderment
Midwinter
Balancing Among the Worlds
The Energy Dance of Now
The Energy Dance of Now, Part 2
The Hats We Wear
Wonderment
Spring Equinox
Permission To Be Yourself
Midwinter
February 02, 2013
Within the circle of the year it is now midwinter. Midwinter can fall between the 2nd and 7th of February; the actual midpoint this year is February 3rd. In the northern hemisphere, at my current location, daylight has increased by 58 minutes since the Winter Solstice. We can choose to harmonize with this cycle of expanding light.
Harmonizing with cycles of light has ancient roots. The ancients recognized the major solar events within the circle of the year — Winter Solstice, Spring Equinox, Summer Solstice, Autumnal Equinox. In the British Isles the solar year was further divided to mark the halfway points between the major solar events. These halfway points became the Cross Quarter Days — Imbolc, Beltane, Lammas, Samhuinn. In Earth-based spirituality, the Solstices and Equinoxes and Cross Quarter Days have been considered sacred for over four thousand years. Within the circle of the year, these eight festival times give us an opportunity to attune our personal rhythm to the rhythm of the cosmos, of nature.
The cycles of light within the circle of the year correspond to the cycles of light within the circle of the day. Spring/Dawn, Summer/Midday, Autumn/Sunset, Winter/Night. The cycles within our lives correspond with both; we have an opportunity to invoke each phase of our life — from infancy to maturity — every year. Midwinter, or Imbolc, is the first of three festivals which mark the beginning of Spring. It corresponds with the period from infancy and early childhood to seven years. Thus, as we ourselves harmonize with midwinter, it is a time of honoring and acknowledging our inner child and allowing any needed healing to take place. It is also a time of new beginnings, as with the dawning of a new day.
The Celtic circle of the year and the Native American medicine wheel are closely related; they are similar in their recognition of the cycle of the year, the Equinoxes and Solstices and the four directions. When entering the circle, or the medicine wheel, one is entering a gateway — a gateway to harmonizing with nature, the cosmos and one's soul. Thus one is rooted solidly between Earth energy and Solar energy. This grounding allows the flow of both energy and inspiration; it is like charging a battery that provides your inner light. The stronger the charge, the brighter the light.
The light on Earth expands and all is well
A pathway is open, the new garden grows.
(from the song “Medicine Woman”, 2010)
Balancing Among the Worlds
February 12, 2013
Several days ago, while considering the writing of this blog, I was clearly nudged to introduce Mirin. The energies known to me as Mirin are the guides with whom I’ve worked in focused alignment since December of 1990. Mirin’s comments in the Afterword of Golden Pebbles: Celebrating the New Earth, written in December of 2010, are the most recently published words from Mirin. Now there is a clear indication that there is about to be more.
In my first book, Journey Through an Open Door — written in collaboration with Mirin — Mirin provided this description of who “they” are:
“Our name, Mirin, is a matter of convenience as yours is also. We are energy. We are consciousness. We include some of mastery whose individual names you may know. We are not inclined to give you our credentials because we feel the deeper truth is in your recognition of what you may find in our expression. Is it not the resonance which matters more than labels?… We offer keys to your own alignment with the knowings of your soul. It is your High Self — your individual vibrational doorway — we address... [to] stir your remembrance of connection to yourself-in-fullness. The ‘proof’ of our identity is in the resonance of our words within your heart. Ask yourself: Does what we say ring true to you? If our words stir no warmth move elsewhere. In this time of intense Earth change when needs are great we advocate efficiency.”
Because my collaboration with Mirin has been well integrated over many years there is, of course, consistent overlap. However, I’m now stepping aside from the writing of this blog — except to listen to Mirin and note that which is being shared. I sense a smile from Mirin as I hear:
Here we invite you to take a look at another world view. You have been accumulating experience, throughout this lifetime and all preceding lifetimes. The world as you have known it has truly been Shakespeare’s theatre, and you the players — cast in one role after another. This you have done well, this playing of all the roles that have been yours for your refinement. Clearly hear us on this point: Experience had to be had for understanding to be reached. You are now at the point of reaching understanding. The implications are vast. You are at the point of balancing among the worlds of that which you have known, and that which beckons.”
Balance is a key
Walk across the threshold into the wide view, and see
beyond limitation
(from the song “Light the Candle”, 2008)
(to be continued next week: “The Energy Dance of Now”)
“We are choosing to speak within this blog at this time because we are aware of the discomfort many of you are experiencing amid the ongoing waves of change on Earth. The incoming vibrational waves from your local sun and the galactic sun necessitate, for you, many adaptations.
You may feel that you are being disassembled, everything you thought was “real”, everything in which you believed, no longer serving you. Or you may be experiencing that to which you have been loyal — concepts and situations in which you are significantly invested — seemingly dissolving. Thus, you may now feel adrift — without an anchor. This poses a dilemma: Where is truth? And where is meaning? Both truth and meaning are inside yourself.
This access inside yourself is often more difficult for those of you who have been encouraged, since childhood, to emphasize only the rational. Here we borrow a quotation which has entered your vernacular, for it is indeed true: ‘The rational mind only knows what it knows; it does not know what it does not know.’
The Energy Dance of Now
February 12, 2013
[Note: As with last week’s blog, once again Mirin is choosing to speak. For more information about Mirin, see the previous blog, “Balancing Among the Worlds”.]
The ideal energy dance of now is one of Buoyancy, Joy and Beneficence.
Buoyancy allows you to move with ease among the waves of change.
When you are in Joy you understand that Joy supersedes all lesser vibrational frequencies. Knowingness and Joy are closely aligned.
The Beneficence of which we speak is accomplished when you radiate outward in every direction the vibrational frequency energy of Joy.
Why is it desirable to participate in the energy dance that we describe? The answer is simple: For maximizing well being and happiness, it is essential to be in harmony with change and co-creative within it, at the most fundamental level. The most fundamental level is energy.
All that manifests in your physical reach-out-and-touch reality first exists as energy. The effects of the waves of change are, simply stated, two-fold: (1) There is an ongoing clearing on Earth of all that which is not in harmony with the new higher vibrational frequencies with which you are literally being inundated every day. (2) Your inner wiring is being changed to accommodate the higher vibrational frequencies. This, too, is ongoing; from level to level adaptation is required. Adaptation is easier, and more comfortable, if you are aware of the process and are actively aligned with it.
We now provide more perspective on the foundations of the energy dance of which we speak. To do so, we will use an analogy of macrocosm and microcosm. Macrocosm in this analogy is Earth. Microcosm is you. Be aware that you, as microcosm, are experiencing the same changes as Earth and Gaia consciousness. Earth is an aware being, as you are also. Earth's energy grid (Earth's wiring) has changed, and refinements are ongoing. Thus, Earth and you are both receiving ongoing refinements. Earth's co-creative process is what is referred to as Earth changes. Your co-creative process is not dissimilar. Your changes are personal ones, changes within yourself.
How do you access the ability to participate in the energy dance of which we speak?First, you make yourself available by addressing your inner work. There is no substitute for inner work. If this seems daunting, take heart. That which, as recently as a decade ago, could take years to accomplish can now be accomplished in a fraction of that time. Consider this: It is as though you are walking on a new hiking trail which has recently been blazed by others. Your access to what they have discovered — the beauty, for example — is with relative ease. You simply have to be willing to walk the trail, one step at a time.
This the way your inner work can be readily accomplished:
(1) Activate your feeling-based discernment. Here is a straightforward way to begin. Bring into your awareness something that makes you smile spontaneously, instantly changing the way you feel. What is occurring? In that moment of spontaneity your energy is lifting into a higher vibrational frequency. Note that feeling, and practice it. The more you connect with that higher frequency — and maintain it — the more clearly you will discern, in all of your associations and activities, what feels like it belongs with you and what does not. Learn to release that which is no longer in harmony with your growing feeling-based perception. Simply stated: you are becoming who you truly are. In fact, this a remembering.
(2) Refine and clear. Most essentially the process of clearing is guided by your heart. Ask your High Self to help you refine your clarity, and your understanding. Ask your High Self to help you clear your energy blocks, including held anger which may or may not be significantly suppressed. Ask your High Self to be a beacon for your remembering — where you have been, and where you are going. If you lack confidence in, or feel disconnected from, your High Self remember this: It is your High Self who knows you well, and knows who you are in alignment with your soul. It is your High Self who consistently nudges you to awaken. Metaphorically speaking, the ball is in your court. Pay attention. Pay attention to the nudges. Follow your heart's enthusiasm.
(3) Shift your awareness from a consciousness of separation — which most of you have been taught all too well — to a consciousness of connection. The implications of this shift within yourself are vast.
(4) Understand this: You have nothing to apologize for. You have sincerely been doing your best — within the defined parameters — for a long, long time. Now there is a new freedom. The energetic constraints which have been on Earth for thousands of years have been dissolved. Now there is opportunity for blossoming in a new way.
In Journey Through an Open Door we, Mirin, stated: "...the infusion of light within your plane of consciousness will both bring humanity into a new maturity and rejuvenate humanity into new youthfulness. It is the choice of every individual being whether to participate..."
Clearly, you who are reading this blog are among those who have chosen to participate.
The infusion of light which we described in Journey and the higher vibrational frequency about which we are now speaking are one and the same.
This is the energy dance of now. And the magic has only just begun.
(to be continued next week)
The Energy Dance of Now, Part 2
February 28, 2013
[Note: As with the previous two blogs, once again Mirin is choosing to speak. For more information about Mirin, see the blog “Balancing Among the Worlds” which was published two weeks ago.]
We, Mirin, are adding to what we have already expressed about “the energy dance of now” because we have additional suggestions which, in our view, are important for you to consider:
We further address the process of refining and clearing, the clearing of your energy blocks. We will use anger as an example of an energy block, for it is not uncommon. This we suggest: Recognize that the energy block exists. Recognize that it exists for good reason. For example: You may have what you call “stuff” left from childhood experiences. Or, as an adult who has followed all the concepts that were taught to you about responsibility and success, you may feel a sense of having been betrayed if your lifestyle has not brought you happiness and joy and a delicious feeling of well-being and gratitude.
This we suggest: (1) Realize you have good reason to feel anger. (2) Give yourself permission to feel your feelings. (3) Acknowledge your disappointment. (4) You can find safe ways to express and release your anger. Remember this: All masking of your anger is ineffective, adds stress and is physically detrimental. Examples of masking are: passive aggressive expression, numbing substances, substances which artificially elevate your mood.
When you acknowledge and release the held energy, the energy block, you create space for a “course correction”, and new self-discovery. It is likely there are beautiful surprises awaiting you.
With space for new self-discovery, you begin to move past your blocked self expression. Letting go of who you are not is correspondent with this process. And what do we mean by “letting go of who you are not”?
As a child you had your own inherent wisdom about who you were/are. Your parents and teachers and the other influential individuals in your life had their ideas about what would keep you safe and help you “fit in” and thrive. It is likely they meant well. Possibly, more often probably, you have long since forgotten whatever you knew about yourself that was not reinforced by your “upbringing”; what you inherently knew, within yourself, was replaced by what your parents and “role models” thought they knew. Particularly as regards parents, consider that you were also inadvertently imprinted by their personal issues which in turn influenced their ideas about what was “good for you”. Instead of discovering who you were/are, and developing your interests and talents accordingly, you learned to be “who you are not”.
“Who you are not” can now be released. You may consider that you have experienced a profound lesson in contrasts — the contrast between “who you are not” and “who you are”, who you have the possibility of becoming. Ultimately this serves you. Experiencing your life as “who you are not” requires an excess of energy expenditure, on many levels. When you learn to experience your life as “who you truly are”, you will discover — within yourself — tremendous energy. The energy of enthusiasm will flow within you as though you have been reborn. You will re-discover your own unique qualities, and your self-expression will radiate outward accordingly.
All of this is perfect timing in harmony with the solar energy waves of change. Having created space for yourself, within yourself, the new connections of your DNA and growth of new brain synapses — due to electromagnetic stimulation — will afford you a greater capacity that you can then learn to utilize in new ways. We suggest that you cannot yet imagine the expansive and beautiful possibilities that are beckoning to you.
As the solar waves of change accelerate, and you experience your own feelings and self-discovery within the waves of change, it is important that you understand Divergence.
Within the waves of change, everyone on Earth has the opportunity to choose (1) to be in alignment with the new energy, the higher vibrational frequencies, and to adjust their perspective and actions accordingly or (2) to ignore the new energies and continue with “business as usual”. Choices may be made either actively or passively, willfully or by default.
We will use choices about the environment as an example. Those who consider environmental impact, and make “course corrections” accordingly, are making an active choice in alignment with the new energy. Those who consume significant resources are making an active choice for “business as usual”. This is an example of divergence. The first choice is in harmony with the new energy; the second choice is not. Increasingly the distance between those two choices will grow wider. An example of passive choice, environmentally, is unconscious consuming. From our perspective, any choice which is not in harmony with earth, and earth energy, is also not in harmony with the higher vibrational energy.
Another example of divergence becomes obvious as you view the outer world. You can observe conflict and confusion, for example, as “Shakespeare’s theater”. You can observe the play and the players without “going there”. You can recognize that what you are seeing is people who are still working out their issues from an unawakened state. You can observe that they are still living in the world of “separation”, not yet ready to do otherwise. You may choose to send compassion to them, without judging them. You may then continue on with your own chosen focus, awake and aware, without having allowed your energy to be dissipated by lower vibrational frequencies. This is divergence.
We suggest that divergence is going to become more starkly apparent, for the increasing energy waves are affecting everything on Earth. Using your discernment about what you observe and feel will serve you well.
As divergence becomes increasingly apparent, so too does convergence, the convergence of you who recognize one another. The convergence of which we speak is inspired by heart-direction. Heart direction is inspired by one’s High Self, or Higher Mind. (High Self and Higher Mind are one and the same.)
Thus, convergence is based on feeling and sensing, rather than rationality, and it may be somewhat perplexing to the rational mind. Understand convergence as a gift, a gift that will become clearer to you over time. Steadily and surely you develop new awareness of connection, connectedness, wholeness.
Seventeen years ago, as earthplane time is counted, we provided a commentary titled “Where is the Future?” as part of Journey Through an Open Door.
We choose to share with you a few words from our commentary:
“Separation is illusion. Connection is the reality. The future lies in comprehending wholeness, connectedness, and — ultimately — the dance of energy and light among all conscious beings... The dance of what is called ‘life’ within earthplane is ultimately the dance of energy, the dance of light. To understand this dance, and to make oneself fully available to participate in it, is the future.”
What was “future”, seventeen years ago, has arrived. The time is now. We applaud you for own arrival into The Energy Dance of Now.
“When you learn to experience your life as ‘who you truly are’, you will discover — within yourself — tremendous energy.”
The Hats We Wear
March 05, 2013
Hats, in all their varied colors and styles, are an obvious metaphor for the multilayered roles we play — during the course of a day, or on-and-on.
One evening, recently, I remembered my childhood fascination with hats.
It had been an especially busy day with most of my attention focused on a particular project. My left brain was having a great time collecting information, comparing possibilities and using its skills of analysis to arrive at the best decision. The rest of me, preferring other expression, wasn’t nearly as pleased. Within the flow of the day, there hadn’t been time for my right brain’s version of creativity. Thus, even though I felt a sense of accomplishment, my day felt incomplete.
It wasn’t until late evening that a playful perspective came flooding in, as if invited by the soothing warmth of my bath-by-candlelight. I remembered the hats.
First I considered this: It would have taken four of me to experience everything I would have preferred to do/be on the day that was now winding down. Obviously, priorities had been chosen. But, what if? As I considered “what if” , the number increased from four to seven. So far, this little exercise was pointing out to me that I could do well to adjust my perspective to something more “realistic”. What is “realistic” for one person may seem thoroughly limited and unimaginative to another. Imaginative felt more appealing. It also led me to the hats.
When I was five or six, I enjoyed visiting my maternal grandparents whenever the opportunity arose. My grandmother was fond of hats, and hers were carefully kept in the round hatboxes that were customary in her day. She purchased them in the millinery shop which was part of the large department store “downtown” — down the long hill, toward the river. Her excursions “downtown” were infrequent; shopping was an event, a foray in search of something stylish which appealed to her tastes. As I look back on this, I see that my grandmother’s hats were something she allowed herself which was outside the well-ordered routines she and my grandfather had established years earlier, and which served them well. With her hats she stepped more fully into her playful mode. She seemed to delight in the discovery that I shared her fondness for hats.
We developed a game of sorts. She would place a chair near the mirror on the wall in the room where she kept her hats, and then out would come a hat box. I would climb up on the chair so I could be tall enough to see in the mirror. Then I would try the hats on, one by one — adjusting the angle of each to best advantage, whatever that meant. I don’t know which one of us was more amused — grandmother, or granddaughter. I do know that a pattern was established. My fondness for hats, and variations on that theme — silk scarves tying back my hair — continued into my twenties.
I remember distinctly the day I decided to modify my relationship with hats. It was during my sailing years and I was 27 or so. I was standing on a floating dock, wearing a hat that was circled with a brim all around, navy blue dotted swiss — a not-too-serious sun hat. It was light and airy and I liked it. A puff of breeze lifted the hat off my head and carried it into the water, just out of reach of the boat hook that was readily available. I watched the hat sail away, until it sank. Disappointed, I thought to myself, “I guess it’s time to rethink that attachment.”
Now I had forgotten about all of this, until my ponderings about priorities and what “realistic” means. Soon I found I was laughing. I decided to wear imaginary hats for each of the parts of myself that wants to express — or has ordinary tasks to do — in any given moment. I considered how various colors feel to me — bright yellow, summer green, red, cobalt blue — and how I might apply them, for various tasks or errands. I considered what I would chose for relaxation. That took me to silk scarves or flowers in my hair. Then I realized I could sort of cross pollinate the hats and the scarves and the flowers and change the feeling into something quite different.
I meandered through these considerations while relaxing in the candlelight. I realized I was playing with vibrational frequency. It wasn’t just silliness. What I could practice, during all of my multilayered roles, is the joyful feeling of flowers in my hair.
My metaphorical hats are evolving every day. And I hope yours are too.
Wonderment
March 12, 2013
Some people who have been experiencing mood and energy changes recently have been taking comfort from exploring the NASA solar statistics website and finding out that they can say that they’re disturbed because the sun is disturbed. Humorous as this may sound, there is much truth here which is extensively supported by medical and psychological statistics.
There are several levels of density to a solar flare. The fastest and most energized portions arrive in 8 minutes, give or take. Successive waves take hours, days and even weeks. Thus Earth, and everyone on Earth, is consistently immersed in various levels of solar energy at various densities as successive portions of solar flares overlap. Not a day goes by without solar flare activity and an increase of the energy wave front. Thus it is an accelerating pattern, affecting everyone on Earth as well as Earth itself. (An obvious result, for example, is increased ice melt all over the world.) Increased solar energy is drastically altering the Earth’s electromagnetic field, with consequences to the personal electromagnetic fields of all biological beings.
The things that are in each creature’s thinking or instinctual patterns are being amplified and demonstrate themselves in individual purviews for purposes of evolution. Increased solar energy and variation in the Earth’s magnetic field, and consequently an individuals magnetic field, affects both the DNA and the electrical transmission throughout the nervous system. As these changes progress the potentiality of increased consciousness, due to more effective synaptic response, increases.
Obvious non-response to solar energy stimulation becomes more visible in primitive behaviors being exhibited by those avoiding the light. The physical ramifications of choices in behavior will also become more obvious as divergence continues. Alignment with light will produce rejuvenation and a joyful attitude because of harmonizing with the greater whole which is based on all energy being one.
What is the statistical probability of an intersection in space and time at the current location of Earth, which has journeyed from the fringes of the galaxy over the last 4 billion years, and controlled beams of high energy radiation which have left the central sun of the galaxy some millions of years ago?
There is no number small enough to even be conceived of. What is the only conclusion to be gained from this information? If it is less than impossible for something to take place by chance, there is obvious intentional intervention on a scale of knowledge, patience and duration that is beyond human comprehension. What is the appropriate response to a feeling-level acknowledgement of these facts? And what is the appropriate response in a human embodiment of energy to be being bathed in forces that increase vitality?
The Mayans knew that it took our sun 265 million years to make its orbit around the galaxy. They knew that these beams would intersect Earth at this time and that is why, in their entire calendar calculations spanning millions of years, the glyph “divergence “ for 12-21-12 — when their calendar of the ages ended — was entirely unique. It clearly showed that some persons would respond to the increased light by increasing their awareness of vitality and others would not choose to do so. Examples of this divergence are becoming more numerous, clear and obvious each day. The “end of the world” predictions for 12-21-12 were really about the end of limited consciousness.
Over all, the solar activity continues to increase. Thus we each can continue to expect adjustments to our personal magnetic field, nervous system, brain, state of consciousness and perceptual awareness. For those of us who are in harmony with the light this is clearly a time to celebrate and enjoy. This ongoing event on Earth has no precedent. It is something truly new and unique under the sun.
“Increased solar energy and variation in the Earth’s magnetic field, and consequently an individual’s magnetic field, affects both the DNA and the electrical transmission throughout the nervous system. As these changes progress the potentiality of increased consciousness, due to more effective synaptic response, increases.”
Spring Equinox
March 19, 2013
There is that which is constant, and there is that which is changing. At dawn the sun rises, whether visible to us or not. Though the cycle of the day begins once again, our experience of the new day will likely be different from our experience of the previous one. We thus experience change within a cycle that is constant. Within the seasons of Nature's year — Spring, Summer, Autumn, Winter — we also experience change within a cycle that is consistent, constant.
It is the variable rotation of the Earth around the Sun that causes the cycle of the day and the seasons of the year, as well as the apparent motion of the arc of the sun and the moon as they travel across the yearly sky. If we face the dawn's light on the horizon line at the Spring Equinox, the first rays of the rising sun will appear due east.
At the Spring Equinox day and night are balanced, and the pressure of light is increasing. In the cycle of the day, it is the arrival of dawn which corresponds with the arrival of Spring. It has been said, "Spring is like the dawn of the day when the birds awaken and praise the sun."
As with the dawn, Spring Equinox is inherently a time of new beginnings. Within the cycle of Nature's year, Spring is a time for the sowing of seeds — both literally and metaphorically. We can ask ourselves, "What do I want to see grow and flourish? Where do I want to place my focus, and my attention?" Especially if one has taken time during the winter season to reflect, for insight, it will be easy to know the answers to these questions and to move forward accordingly.
Spring Equinox has been celebrated for thousands of years. Among the countless Spring Equinoxes that have occurred, the Spring Equinox of 2013 is like no other for it follows the Winter Solstice of 2012, the end of the Mayan calendar of the ages which signaled an end of limited consciousness. This shift, this evolution — as expressed by the Mayan glyph for 12-21-12, "divergence" — continues to take root as the light expands.
Within countless cycles of the seasons, the light of Spring has brought with it new blossoming, new opportunity. Now the light is enhanced, every day, by increasing amounts of solar radiation. Within the gathering intensity of this light we develop our own clarity, and we make our choices.
Sunrise on Thursday, March 21st, is the first dawn in the new season which begins at 7:02 AM on Wednesday, March 20th. Whenever and however we choose to celebrate Spring Equinox, we can be sure that we are celebrating and honoring the ongoing dawning of a new era on Earth — within ourselves as individualized consciousness, and globally.
The light on Earth expands and all is well
A pathway is open, the new garden grows.
(from the song “Medicine Woman”, 2010)
“Within countless cycles of the seasons, the light of Spring has brought with it new blossoming, new opportunity. Now the light is enhanced, every day, by increasing amounts of solar radiation. Within the gathering intensity of this light we develop our own clarity, and we make our choices.”
Permission To Be Yourself
March 26, 2013
A few weeks ago I saw my friend Eliza for the first time in a couple of months. Our conversation now replays itself in my mind, seemingly insisting that I write about it.
Eliza told me that she’s been on overload and would like to find time for her art. I’ve heard this theme from her for at least a couple of years and, once again, our discussion was similar to many of our previous ones. What has changed is that the issue has become more acute.
Reflecting on our recent dialog — and the issue — I now recognize that Eliza would likely make changes to accommodate her artwork if she could give herself permission to do so. It’s also clear that within the context of her long-time marriage she isn’t likely to receive encouragement to rediscover her own talent. The long established roles lack flexibility, which — I've observed — is all too often true.
Years ago Eliza made a career choice that blended her interest in art with a penchant for teaching and counseling. With her MA in counseling she then created an art therapy program for women. Eliza spends a lot of time administrating the program — which is funded by grants — and training volunteers. Amid her various roles within the program, she most enjoys her teaching. Ironically, she’s responsible for a program that encourages others to express through the creation of art while she herself does not have time to give herself the same gift. Increasingly, even during vacation, she finds her intention to relax and enjoy isn’t working out as planned.
Eliza is now feeling exhausted and is unclear how to make changes. I listened to her update and reminded her of the obvious: she needs to recharge her own energy. This is true for all of us. When depleted of energy we have little to share. We spoke for a while about modifying priorities. She has surely been receiving signals to do so. A few months ago she broke an ankle. She pointed out that the injury occurred on the first day of vacation. To me, this was quite the metaphor. It could be said that the broken ankle simply underscored what she was already feeling: restriction, and an inability to move forward comfortably.
As my thoughts of Eliza meandered through my awareness, in the context of “permission to be yourself”, I also thought of Geoff.
I remember the first time I heard his voice. He sounded ancient. I had phoned his office to inquire about a real estate listing. My feeling was that I had reached someone who could well have been long since retired. He gave me the location of the property, and we set an appointment time.
Intending to gather my first impressions about the house and countryside surroundings before my appointment, I arrived early. Thus I was there to greet Geoff who also arrived ahead of schedule. As he walked toward me to introduce himself, I was startled by his appearance as contrasted with his voice. Dressed casually but tastefully, in muted colors, he appeared to be in his mid-fifties. He greeted me with a low key graciousness. I recognized that, whatever the outcome of this real estate adventure, I was pleased to meet this person.
It soon became clear that I had only begun my search for an appropriate property. I was happy to be working with Geoff, however, so I made a list of five more properties to explore with him. On the agreed upon day I arrived at his office -- an antique timber-framed building tastefully restored. It looked more like a diminutive gallery than a real estate office.
Geoff efficiently planned the logistics for visiting five properties in one afternoon, one of which required an appointment with another realtor. As we were about to leave most of Geoff's family arrived -- with considerable enthusiasm. Daughters were converging "home" from their far flung locations for a weekend event with close family friends. I met Geoff's wife and two of their three daughters, one of whom had flown from Colorado with her boyfriend. The third daughter had not yet arrived. This interesting glimpse added considerably to an interesting day.
Four of the five listings were land only, and it was a perfect summer day, so it was somewhat like going exploring and hiking with a friend. There was still the question about Geoff's voice. With my penchant for listening I soon learned a lot. Geoff and I shared an easy rapport and he talked readily about his background and how he had become a realtor.
Geoff and his sister had grown up in an academic lifestyle, for their father was a professor. Making a choice that was uniquely his own, however, Geoff went to a college where he could study goldsmithing. Quite readily, he subsequently became a successful goldsmith in a beautiful resort area in Northern New England. Later on, when he and his wife considered the future costs of educating their then young daughters, it was apparent that a higher income level would be desirable. Geoff became a licensed realtor and worked in real estate part-time, in addition to continuing his work as a goldsmith. Soon the decision was made to relocate to another area in which to raise their daughters — an area with a more lively real estate market, and more social life for his wife. Geoff's career as a goldsmith was entirely left behind. By the time I met him, years later, much of his business had become a well established niche — upscale country properties with "equestrian potential".
Geoff told me that, after leaving the more northern location, he has always kept in touch with three close friends — male friends he has known for more than thirty years. He still considers them his closest friends. Each year they all spend a weekend together, updating. Geoff said that every year he is asked when he’s going to return to his work with gold. He told me that he used to tell his friends he would do so after his daughters had all finished college. Now that his daughters have finished their schooling and are on their own, Geoff's friends remind him what he himself had told them for years. His friends want to know when he’s going to become a goldsmith again. Geoff said to me, "They're trying to hold me to my promise. And I don't have an answer for them."
When Geoff told me this story, I realized what has happened to his voice. The issue is one of blocked self-expression. Clearly, he’s saddened and congested by what appears to be a dilemma.
I thought of the gallery-like appearance of Geoff’s real estate office and how well it could showcase handcrafted jewelry instead of property listings. I asked Geoff if he had considered crafting something in gold to see how it would feel to be using his goldsmithing skills again. He seemed very tentative about this idea, as though it had crossed his mind but seemed remote from the roles he has been filling for years.
Both Eliza and Geoff are immersed in a feeling of limitation and neither knows what to do about it. In these times of increasing solar energy, feelings of limitation are becoming more intolerable. It becomes increasingly essential to discover, within oneself, what will dissolve any energy blocks and fulfill long standing heart’s desire.
About two and half years ago an octogenarian friend told me about an art opening featuring the paintings of one of her long time friends, now in his nineties. She spoke highly of the friend she had known since she was fourteen and she told me a bit about his background. Professionally, he had been the art director for a well known New York ad agency and for the same company he had established an office in London. Personally, he was an accomplished painter. She was sure I would enjoy meeting him and seeing his work.
She was right. My memorable experience at the show was well worth the long drive. The paintings were alive with vibrant color, reflecting the painter’s innate vitality and enthusiasm for life. In talking with him, it was clear to me that his relationship with his paintings created an interesting energy flow. The process of painting encouraged and fed his own vitality, while the energy he put into the paintings produced works that were stimulating for others.
Fortunately for this artist, his love for painting was not forgotten or suppressed. Having spent years devoted to his professional career and his family life, he was able to give himself permission to change his priorities when time allowed.
The spark of creativity within us all, however it is demonstrated, is a gift to ourselves and to others as well. When we give ourselves permission to be ourselves, expressing from our heart’s desire, joy and delight and well being flow effortlessly. This happiness of creativity exudes a vibration that others enjoy feeling and which in turn inspires them. Positive ripples flow outward and expand. Seen from this perspective, giving yourself permission to be yourself is ultimately helping others give the same permission to themselves.
Frozen in stone so very long ago
Now you are free to share your magic
(from the song “Meet Me Inside the Rainbow”, 2004)